There are no absolutes with etiquette, it is more of a consensus of opinions. I’m not the etiquette police. However, I want my clients to be informed of what is and is not socially acceptable. If you choose to not use proper etiquette then that is your choice.

Addressing Guidelines:
  -Use no abbreviations except, Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., or Jr.
-
  -Symbols should not be used. For example, write out and rather than use an ampersand.
-
  -Initials are not acceptable, Write "William," not "W". Omit the initial if you do not know it.
-
  -North, South, East, and West should not be abbreviated.
-
  -Street, Road, Avenue, Boulevard, and Lane should always be written out, not abbreviated.
-
  -Cities, states and numbered streets are written out in full (with the exception of D.C.).
In regard to addresses, the only optional abbreviations are for Saint (St.) or Mount (Mt.), which can be written either way.
-
  -Figures are used in zip codes and housed numbers. Numbered streets are written out.
For example: Fourteenth Street, not 14th Street, or One Hundred and Twenty-fifth Street, not 125th Street.
-
  -Avoid "and family" if possible. All children over age eighteen should receive a separate invitation.
-
  -Invitations should be mailed from four to six weeks before the wedding.
-
  -Mail invitations first-class mail, never metered mail.
-
  -Be sure to include a return address on the invitations.
-
  -Wedding announcements are addressed the same as invitations, and should be mailed immediately after the wedding.
-
  -Zip Codes- Please be sure to double check your addresses and zip codes. To check zip codes go on the Internet to http://www.usps.com/zip4.

Title Terms you may need to know

  Professional Titles:
 
The Honorable (judge, governor, mayor , U.S. senators, members of congress, cabinet members, ambassadors);
The Reverend or the Rabbi (clergy);
Doctor (for medical doctor, dentist, veterinarian, and the academically degreed who use that title.)
   
  Military Titles:
  According to rank: & enlisted personnel and noncommissioned officers:
  ---Joseph Nathaniel Morris
---United States Air Force
   
  Senior officers (above captain in the army and lieutenant senior grade in the navy):
  ---Lieutenant Colonel James William Stack
---United States Air Force
   
  Junior officers (title appears on second line):
  ---Scott Joseph Rose
---Second Lieutenant, United States Air Force.

Names on the Outer & Inner Envelopes:

     
  Outer Envelope Inner Envelope
     
 
Single Guests
 
Unmarried female Miss (or Ms.) Julie Walker Miss (or Ms.) Walker (and Guest)
Divorced female, uses married name Mrs. Emily Frank Mrs. Frank (and Guest)
Divorced female, uses maiden name Miss (or Ms.) Shelly Jones Miss (or Ms.) Jones (and Guest)
Unmarried male Mr. Christopher Smith Mr. Smith (and Guest)
 
Couples
 
Married Couples Mr. and Mrs. Steven Freeman Mr. and Mrs. Freeman
Married Couple - woman kept maiden name Mrs. (or Ms.) Kayla Morris Mrs. (or Ms.) Morris 
Mr. Joel Morgan Mr. Morgan
Unmarried couples who do not live together - send to the closest friend Miss (or Ms.) Shannon Wright Miss (or Ms.) Wright 
 
Mr. Lewis
Unmarried couples who live together - alphabetical by last name Miss (or Ms.) Sally Abbott  Miss (or Ms.) Abbott 
Mr. Peter Cochran Mr. Cochran
Same gender couples - alphabetical by last name Mr. Kurtis Davidson  Mr. Davidson 
   
Mr. Scott McDonald Mr. McDonald
 
Children
 
Child under age 18 Nothing on outer envelope David, Alexis, and Sarah (first names only, oldest to youngest)
Children over 18 - should receive their own invitation, even if still at home Miss Arlene Bishop  Miss Bishop (and Guest) or 
or  Mr. Smith (and Guest)
Mr. Derek Smith  
 
Miscellaneous
 
Judge The Honorable and Mrs. Albert Root Judge and Mrs. Root
Clergy The Reverend Tom Pinker The Reverend Pinker
Doctor (medical) Doctor Mitchell Fry Doctor Fry (and Guest)
Doctor (PhD) Dr. David Fry Dr. Fry (and Guest)
Married Woman Doctor Doctor Nancy Goodman  Doctor Goodman 
Mr. Brian Goodman Mr. Goodman
Married Couple, Both Doctors Doctors Robert and  The Doctors Stephens
Sandra Stephens
Officer - Man (active or retired) Colonel and Mrs. Wayne Scott Colonel and Mrs. Scott
Officer - Woman Lieutenant Holly Adams, U.S. Navy  Lieutenant Adams 
Mr. Mark Adams Mr. Adams

























































Seating Card Guidelines
Arranged on a special table near the entrance to the reception, seating cards display guests’ names along with their table numbers.
   
  Size and Style
 
Traditionally, seating cards were presented in diminutive envelopes. Now, most stationers favor tented cards, which are often embossed or edged in silver or gold for a more formal look.
   
  Wording
 
When addressing married couples, it is traditional to use the husband’s first name, but a simple “Mr. and Mrs.” preceding the surname is equally correct; if more than one couple share the same last name, include the first names of the men to avoid confusion. Using each person’s full name without a title is another option; it is customary to start with the wife’s name.

Unmarried couples are typically listed with the woman’s name first in the United States and the man’s name first in Europe. If you leave off titles, this format will work for either an unmarried couple or a married couple with different last names. Single women may be addressed with or without titles, depending on your preference, but be consistent. Don’t address male guests as “Mr.” if female guests won’t have titles.

Single women of any age can be called “Miss,” although it is also common to use that title for girls under 13. Addressing boys as “Master” until their thirteenth birthday is appropriate for a formal reception. It is always acceptable, however, to use children’s names without titles.

A common question is how to address friends who bring guests you don’t know. It is surely easier to write “John Smith and Guest,” and while some argue that it is more proper, because it avoids implying a relationship that may not exist, others disagree. “ If you can find out what the guest’s name is, it’s nicer to do it that way,” says Joy Lewis, owner of Mrs. John L. Strong Fine Stationery in New York City. “It just makes people feel more welcome to see their names on the cards.”

   
  Displaying the Cards
 
Arrange your seating cards - either tented cards or flat cards with envelopes—on the table in alphabetical order, in rows that are short enough for guests to scan.


 

Examples of my Work Client Comments & References
  Rates & Suggestions Traditional Address Guidelines & Etiquette
  Printable PDF of rates & samples Contact
  Back to Top Home